"To live in the world without becoming aware of the meaning of the world is like wandering about in a great library without touching the books.".....The Secret Teachings of All Ages

Thursday, November 10, 2016

Motivational Slump

I admit, for the last month and especially after Tuesday's election, I have been pretty depressed. For lack of a better term, my "muse" has gone into hiding. I don't blame her.

There were two projects started.

 Back in September/October it was the cropped jacket experiment, the inspiration for which I found on Pinterest. I got as far customizing and futzing with making the pattern, getting the material, and cutting out the outer layer, which will eventually be stenciled and beaded. Part of the delay with this was the stencil I had intended to use just didn't work, so I will have to drive into the next county, hit the Michael's over there, and try to find one that works. The other setback was the work table I use for cutting out cloth and stenciling got buried under...stuff. So I had to clear that off...again. It seems to attract "stuff" like honey attracts bees. Then the election became utterly terrifying, and my worst nightmares came horrifyingly true. I cried! I actually cried over the results of an election! Unfortunately, I am still depressed. I decided to give myself time to grieve before attempting anything creative. I am afraid it would color in a negative way whatever I tried to do.

The other project was a painting I started toward the middle of summer. I love the concept, and I am really happy with the drawing. I struggled with the painting, but felt things were moving along okay. Then some outside circumstances put things on hold for a few weeks, then the light fixture over my drafting table wouldn't work, then the weather got cold and rainy (I work in the garage), then the election added to the gloom. For me, it was a no-win situation. Now the garage corner where I paint is cold, and because we get no sun until late in the day, if at all, my corner, even though the light fixture is working again, is still on the dark side. That is something that needs to be addressed. Also, some kind of heater will help with the cold, but it has to be radiant heat, not something with a fan, or the paint will dry too fast.

This probably sounds like a litany of "woe is me" and to a certain extent, I guess that's true. But when your soul is in such despair, it's really hard to get motivated. I look at my poor painting, which is pleading with me to finish it, and I have good intensions, and then...just can't. Until I can reboot myself, I have brought it into the house so it doesn't get dusty. Since it is in the same room as the computer, it also forces me to look at it guiltily every day. Maybe the guilt will eventually overpower the depression, or something will happen to get me fired up again. Or maybe a week or so to do nothing but read, work my horses, and just breath will solve the problem. At this point, I just don't know.

This is the progress/progression on Embrace the Night so far. The last photo was taken in the house today, which is why the colors look darker, although parts of the painting were darkened before I left it. At this stage, I consider the painting about halfway finished.

Hopefully, this artistic funk I am in won't last. Maybe I can entice my muse out of hiding with a nice glass of wine, one of my favorite art books, and a lovely chat about inspiration?